Why Can't I Ever Find A Group?
So, I've been thinking about posting about this for a while, but finally decided to actually do so...
I've seen, in guild chat, several people complain about not getting guild groups. I've also had a few people mention it when grouped with me that they rarely manage to find a guild group.
My response to them, and I've also said this in the guild groups, is to look at yourself first....
It seems like, invariably, those who complain about not finding guild groups are the same individuals that are extremely quiet in guild chat, don't say hello when they log on (or when others log on), don't say congratulations when someone gets a tough cheese, and don't offer to help others when someone seeks assistance with something.
Instead, these persons either log on, or have been on for a while without speaking, and then say:
or
Ten - Fifteen minutes later you'll see either... /gu well, guess I'll just log then.... or they'll just no longer be online....
Sorry, but that isn't going to get people going out of their way to include you or help you with things.
Contrast that to the members who are regularly engaging with others.... saying "hi", saying "grats", offering input into the random guild conversation about the relative advantages of diesel vs. unleaded engines, calling me a slacker (glares at Ssweetn!), or whatever.... Contrast to the members who will ask, "Hey, anyone need help with anything?"... Contrast to the members who are putting together a group and put out, "still room for 2 more in a <<<insert objective>>> group"
That second type of person is going to have far less trouble finding a group, or getting assistance, than the first type.
Why? First off people get to know them because they are engaged. Many of us, myself included, are far more likely to want to want to group up with someone that we feel some type of connection to (even if it's just an EQ fantasy land relationship) than we are with someone that we don't know from Adam.
Similarly, most are much more likely to be willing to drop whatever they are doing to go help out someone that they feel a connection to. Or even if they don't know the person really, someone that they regularly see offering to help others.
Think of a member that nearly every day, logs in and says, "hello IL" and then something akin to, "Anyone need any help with anything?" and if someone does need assistance, that's where this person goes... if nobody needs anything, this person will go off and do their own thing. Someone who, when someone asks, "hey, any trade-skillers able to make me a <<<insert high level combine>>>?" Generally responds with, "Sure, meet me in the GH in 5 minutes" -or- "In the middle of a mission run right now, but if you still need in half an hour, let me know"...
And guess what... even that second type of person will often not be able to find a group as soon as they log on. Unfortunately, EQ isn't where it was back in 2000, when there were a few thousand people on each server 24/7, and you could find a group at the drop of a hat. Yet that second type of person is unlikely to complain when they can't find a group; they just find something they can do on their own (soloing, moloing, tradeskills, whatever).
So... in summary... if you want better luck in finding guild groups... become engaged. Be friendly. Help others when you can. And when you can't find a group, don't get down about it...just find another way to enjoy your time.
I've seen, in guild chat, several people complain about not getting guild groups. I've also had a few people mention it when grouped with me that they rarely manage to find a guild group.
My response to them, and I've also said this in the guild groups, is to look at yourself first....
It seems like, invariably, those who complain about not finding guild groups are the same individuals that are extremely quiet in guild chat, don't say hello when they log on (or when others log on), don't say congratulations when someone gets a tough cheese, and don't offer to help others when someone seeks assistance with something.
Instead, these persons either log on, or have been on for a while without speaking, and then say:
/gu Anyone want a <<<insert class>>> for <<<insert specific group activity>>>.
or
/gu Who wants to help me <<<insert task>>>
Ten - Fifteen minutes later you'll see either... /gu well, guess I'll just log then.... or they'll just no longer be online....
Sorry, but that isn't going to get people going out of their way to include you or help you with things.
Contrast that to the members who are regularly engaging with others.... saying "hi", saying "grats", offering input into the random guild conversation about the relative advantages of diesel vs. unleaded engines, calling me a slacker (glares at Ssweetn!), or whatever.... Contrast to the members who will ask, "Hey, anyone need help with anything?"... Contrast to the members who are putting together a group and put out, "still room for 2 more in a <<<insert objective>>> group"
That second type of person is going to have far less trouble finding a group, or getting assistance, than the first type.
Why? First off people get to know them because they are engaged. Many of us, myself included, are far more likely to want to want to group up with someone that we feel some type of connection to (even if it's just an EQ fantasy land relationship) than we are with someone that we don't know from Adam.
Similarly, most are much more likely to be willing to drop whatever they are doing to go help out someone that they feel a connection to. Or even if they don't know the person really, someone that they regularly see offering to help others.
Think of a member that nearly every day, logs in and says, "hello IL" and then something akin to, "Anyone need any help with anything?" and if someone does need assistance, that's where this person goes... if nobody needs anything, this person will go off and do their own thing. Someone who, when someone asks, "hey, any trade-skillers able to make me a <<<insert high level combine>>>?" Generally responds with, "Sure, meet me in the GH in 5 minutes" -or- "In the middle of a mission run right now, but if you still need in half an hour, let me know"...
And guess what... even that second type of person will often not be able to find a group as soon as they log on. Unfortunately, EQ isn't where it was back in 2000, when there were a few thousand people on each server 24/7, and you could find a group at the drop of a hat. Yet that second type of person is unlikely to complain when they can't find a group; they just find something they can do on their own (soloing, moloing, tradeskills, whatever).
So... in summary... if you want better luck in finding guild groups... become engaged. Be friendly. Help others when you can. And when you can't find a group, don't get down about it...just find another way to enjoy your time.
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